For the last couple of weeks I have been obsessing over what exactly my purpose is. Right now my main objective is to raise a bad ass little girl, but is that it? Is this really all I have? Trust me, I am not saying that in a way that says, "Oh poo, all I get to do is raise a kid. Ho Hum.". Not at all! I just cannot figure out what it is that I need to be doing to fulfill MY life. There are so many days that have gone by where I think, "What the fuck have I done for myself today?" The answer is usually NOTHING!!!!
I love to write, it has been a passion of mine since I was 11 years old. I used to keep a daily journal along with my notebooks full of half written stories and dreams. I started keeping a journal for Scout while I was pregnant and I write in it pretty often. A couple of nights ago I was writing to her and I realized that I have not written in my own personal journal since I got pregnant 3 years ago!!!
Everything revolves around Scout. It's not bad thing, but for me it's not healthy. I have a desire to have MY OWN life, not just as a mom, wife, sister, daughter, niece, friend. Something that will shake my world and make me a better woman. I am digging deep for those answers...
How do you find fulfillment in your life while raising or not raising a child?
2 comments:
I was feeling the same way a few years ago until I finally stepped out into the world, which is strange since I'm such a homebody. I find fulfillment volunteering, whether it's organizing homeschool group activities or creating new communities to educate and support people. For me it's about being involved with like-minded adults and making a difference in the lives of others. I feel like this is my second purpose on earth, my first being to raise great kids and take care of my family. I also get fulfillment out of hard work at the farm, but I'm weird like that!
I hope you find what you're looking for :)
dude...i'm still tryin to figure that out for myself. but now that i'll be living back here i can babysit and give you free time!!
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