Somewhere, out there, beneath the pale moonlight....

I have 4, amazing, close friends. Like truly beautiful girls on the inside and the out. It's so odd how every single one of them are so incredibly different and yet they all are the same.

They all chose to be my friend too.

My best friend, my soul mate, my friend that has crossed over into the realm of being family, my friend that has grown up with me since the age of 2.

I am not a big fan of having to many friends. It gets hard and complicated and way to much drama will always be involved.

But I was thinking today about even in the midst of having such beautiful friendships with these people I am kind of, well, friendless. Like face to face friendless. I don't want to sound like a big fucking sob story here either because my sister Jessica is constantly at my house, so I am indeed not void of female companionship.

I know, I know. I just talked about my amazing friends so what the hell, right?

My best friend lives almost 1 hour away from me.

My sister friend lives almost and hour and a half away.

My soul mate lives in fucking Alaska.

My child hood friend lives, oh, well about 15 minutes away. (No excuses here, right?!)

So what's the deal?!?! It's mostly my fault. I am not involved in any social activities what so ever. I have ocular vertigo so it's hard for me to jump in my car and drive forever away for a visit. I miss being little and having sleep overs and doing makeup and chatting all night about boys and wanting to be a stripper and blah, blah, blah.

It really hit hard today when Shara and I went for a little shopping at Target and then she had to go home. To her home forever away. The home that is no where fucking close my house, my little life here. I had to give a hug and say good bye. I hate this. I hate being a grown up sometimes because right now seems like the time I need my friends even more. We were supposed to raise our babes together, jog at the park, have dinners, go out when the babes are at the grandparents houses. But it doesn't happen that way. Such is life.

I am grateful though for thoughtful cards, emails, telephone calls, texts and skype. I miss you girls. I am so happy you are in my life even if we are miles (thousands even) apart.

Friendship is one soul dwelling in two bodies- Aristotle