(I have been writing this for two weeks, it's mainly for me so it's pretty long!)
I literally thought I was going to be pregnant for the rest of my life.
The story of this little lady happened like this....
Monday, November 21st I went in for my 42nd week appointment. Yes, 42 weeks. Oh and 1 day. I was beyond miserable. My emotions were all over the place, my body had been in so much pain for over a month now, I felt like my hips were going to give out at any second. Nick had even bought me one of those claw things because I could no longer bend over to pick up anything. Anyway, at this appointment I had to have another NST and I also had my membranes stripped for a 2nd time. Let me tell you that having your membranes stripped is one of the most painful experiences I have ever had (minus labor). I bawled while my midwife did it. Horrible. The NST showed that I wasn't having any progressive contractions and Ever's heart rate only excelled one time with them. The head nurse came in to talk with me and said word for word " You have what we call a boring uterus". I left with an induction appointment for wednesday November 23rd at 6am, since my "boring uterus" wasn't going to bring my girl into this world on it's own.
I went home feeling sad, ready, wishing it would have happened another way since my birth with Scout ended up with an epidural and pitocin because my body wouldn't progress past a 3 after 24hrs of labor. I was hoping for a possible water birth. I went home and finished packing our bags, feeling like all of this was artifical that I wouldn't have a spontaneous labor, even being so far past my due date. The next day I went through all of the motions of life in a haze. Nick and I dropped Scout off at her Nana's house that night, headed to Target to pick up last minute birth stuff that I wanted, got some Chili's togo and sat on the couch watching a movie.
Around 10:30pm tuesday night I had remembered that one of my best friends and my doula had sent me an email telling me about some different positions to lay in to try and get the baby in a better postion for birth and sometimes it could induce labor. God knows I had tried everything minus castor oil to get this baby out. It is called The Miles Circut. You can find it on newmoonbirth.com. So I told Nick, what the hell, help me get in these positions and let's try to get things moving along. It took about an hour and a half so I was in bed roughly around midnight and passed out.
At 2 am I woke up to very wet pants and some light contractions, which I kinda blew off as braxton hick since I had been having tons of them for weeks and weeks. I did have to walk around a little bit to help with the uneasy feeling but shortly realized that I was going to have to be up at 5am to head to the hospital and I needed more sleep. At 4:45am I woke up to some pretty strong contractions. I woke Nick up and said holy shit I think that I am in labor! I called my mom, sister Jess, and my amazing doula Taryn and told them the same thing. I was having a hard time believing that I was in labor when I was about to go to the hospital to be induced and oh yeah, my body wasn't going to be able to get this baby out on it's own! Ha! Right!
Once we got to the hospital the nurses were wondering why I was even there, I kept saying I know, it's crazy, but I am pretty sure I am in labor but I just want to make sure! It was nice I will say to already have a room ready for me! I was able to go in and sort of set up how I wanted the room. Dim lights, no flame candles, my ipod. They tried to get a hep lock started on me just in case I needed an iv, but my veins are awful and after 3 sticks and a blown vein I told them just forget it. I will get one if I need an iv. Having contractions and dealing with that was super annoying. After this happened I put on my clothes and then shortly there after all of reality started to fade. I have no concept of time during this labor, what felt like a few minutes to me apparently was hours. Everything started happening really fast it felt like, I was finding comfort in standing in between the door of the bathroom, rocking back and forth as each contraction waved through my body. My doula showed up at around this time and got me my coconut water and ice water, reminding me to drink lots of fluids and offering encouraging words. My low back and hips started hurting and she or Nick would push on them with each contraction. After some time she thought it would be good for me to stand in the shower or get in the bathtub to find some relief. Once I got into the shower everything started to really change. The shower was hot on my low back and with every contraction I would grab the shower curtain rod and the rod on the tub and sway and moan and think oh my god this is the most intense thing I have ever felt in my life! I ate grape popsicles, shower soaked almonds and drank lots of water in between. Like I said before I have no concept of time so I don't know how long I stood there, but I started telling everyone that I wanted an epidural. My doula suggested laying in the bath so I did that for a while too, until something changed. The contractions changed. My body felt different. The position of Ever felt different. I told my mom that something had changed and it wasn't good. I was starting to not be able to control me. I am pretty good about controlling myself and I think I had done a pretty good job up until this point too. My doula and midwife thought I was for sure transitioning at this point and asked if I could get out of the bath to be checked. I kept thinking the only way I am getting out of this fucking tub is if I get a god damned epidural! My mind was starting to spiral out of control. I got out of the tub which took forever because every time I was moving now earth splitting pain was shooting through my entire body. I would lean on Taryn, my mom and Nick like my life was literally depending on them. I remember scratching my mom and nick (not on purpose!), I hit the bed, I was screaming every curse word known to man, then I would take massive deep breaths and try to bring it all in and I couldn't. I literally, physically could not control anything now. I finally got on the bed, writhing in pain, yelling, Deb, my midwife, checked me and I was barely a 7. I wanted to die. I asked people to shoot me. I wanted that motherf*@#ing epidural NOW! Deb agreed, Taryn agreed, mom and Nick I think were ready for me to have it along time ago! The nurse gave me some stadol until Deb could get the epidural, all that did was make me high for a short time, nothing else. I finally got out of bed and here is were my life flipped. I was in an alternate universe, I swear to god. Only a bra on, no anything on bottom, shit (not literally) pouring from my body, every minute or less me screaming in pain, going up on my toes like I was possessed. I pictured myself being like in horror movies were people have demons in them and their bodies contort out of their control. That was me. There was no bring it to a calm level. That train left a long time ago. Everyone in that room saw me in my most raw form and holy shit it was not pretty. This kept happening over and over and over while I waited for the epidural since it was in a c-section. Taryn asked me to bear down and see if it helped and when I tried it felt like my bones were being crushed! I couldn't do it. So here I am out of my mind and all of a sudden BAM! my water breaks. Everywhere. I am leaning over the bed moaning and yelling like a mad woman, there is blood, water, nasty everywhere wishing I could die. Wishing that this wasn't real. Deb checked me and I was a 10. I am pretty sure in about 30 minutes I progressed that fast. Finally came the epidural and that was the biggest mind fuck game I have EVER had to play in my ENTIRE life. How the hell do you sit perfectly still while feeling like this?!?! I honestly don't know how I did it. It took everything I had to sit there, and it took a while for me to pull it together enough to do so! Shortly thereafter sweet release came to my body, and even though I was a 10 there would have been no way for me to push Ever out without medicine. I told Taryn that I was resenting my birth and that's not something I wanted after the birth of Scout.
I was able to rest for about 45 min and then here came the waves of pressure and it was time to get this baby out! I had zero coaching and I pushed her out with the waves that I felt on my own! It was amazing! The room was dark with just candles going, my music turned up loud and I gave the rest of my energy to Ever! She was born in about 15-20 minutes to Florence and The Machine 'Never Let Me Go', face up (that's why I was in so much pain and born just like Scout! UGH!) barely a cry, bright eyed, ready to nurse and I swear to god I held her for an hour without anyone else taking her as soon as she was born!
She is a gorgeous little girl that had the most crooked little nose on her! She weighed 7lbs 13oz and was 19 3/4 long born at 2:41 in the afternoon. I was in labor for right at 12 hours, my uterus was indeed NOT boring at all because it got me to a 10 with zero medication. I don't think that Ever was late at all. I think she was born on the day that was always her birthday!! Right now she is a healthy, 3 week old beauty that resembles her sister so much it's crazy! She does love to sleep and is super calm so there is a difference between the two! I am so blessed to have these little ladies in my life!
If you are in the Oklahoma City area and are pregnant I suggest you check out my doula and my midwife. I know my mom and Nick helped so much but honestly I couldn't have done this without Taryn Goodwin and obviously Deb Melser. Taryn was able to bring me back and center me several times when no one else could. I felt like she was my rock through this birth and I wouldn't change one thing! She made me feel safe and she honored everything I wanted. I feel very lucky to have her in my life! Deb is the most patient, helpful and understanding midwife I have ever met. I am so happy that she is the person that brought my sweet Ever into this world!
You can find Taryn at spiriteddoula.com (she also does placenta encapsulation too!) and Deb is at OU physicians, she is a CNM.